One of the hardest things can be taking the first step. Starting from the blank canvas. And it usually gets harder as we age. Because we have more to lose. Or we feel like we have more to lose. When you’re young, you have your whole life ahead of you, but when you’re older, you only have a few years left. And the question comes, what do I do with those years? I guess that’s the midlife crisis that is so cliche.
So how do I stay present and in the moment while true to the fact that the years are just going by. And the decisions that I make today are so often backbones of things that will unfold tomorrow.
I have come to realize that the reason why I’m in such a turmoil these days is exactly the reason behind all of my mindful practices. The questions that have arise from tuning out of the media and looking inside. That why, for someone that seems to have everything going on in their life, good partner, financial stability, good friends, a job, bicycle, lots of plants, lots of musical instruments and the list goes on… at the end of the day is still unsatisfied.
For me the answer seems to always be pointing at “my time”. What am I spending my time building? What impact am I having with my time here? As much as I believe in our karma, destiny and purpose in life, I also believe in our own will to accomplish things that we feel passionate about. And my passion has turned out to be building a community. Intentional communities and practices that bring people together and leave a positive impact on people’s lives.
And the question of being present (Prezenc you see, 😜) is to be in that intention and focus on that dream, without an expectation. Not to be blinded by it and be lessoning to all the signs that show up along the way. To remember that it’s about the journey, not the destination.
My last grandma visit, thought me a few key things. That I need to learn how to LOVE properly. Not the way I have been thought. Realign myself with nature and pachamama. And lesson. So here I am grandma, starting from scratch learning how to love, respect the nature I’m in and lessoning.